Respect in Context: How to Approach Respect in the Classroom

'Respect' is one of those tricky ideas to relate.  Often we rush for examples and vague descriptions like 'being open' which sound well enough but do little to define the term.  Yet through all of our foraging for phrases we are able to develop a general sense of what it means to be respectful: treat others as you would want to be treated; value other people's opinions; approach situations with humility.  All of these things we've been taught since preschool dance around an idea that we can't quite pin down.  'Respect' is a term like 'love' or 'kindness' where any attempt at a concrete definition is doomed to fall short of the reality.  Now does that mean we don't try?  Of course not!  But we must understand that any definition of 'respect' will be limited, and that 'respect' can be reinterpreted in any number of ways to make it contextually appropriate. 

That being said, my own attempt at a definition is limited to the way students treat one another: the unequivocal defense of a person's right to be different.  Yet this doesn't quite fit the sort of respect we imagine in the classroom.  It might be a good guideline for students' behavior among their peers, but does it adequately describe the respect between students and teachers?  The trouble with the line 'treat others as you would want to be treated' is that it requires students to actively put themselves in other people's shoes, and how many kids can really imagine what it is like to be a teacher?  So as good as that line is, kids can only apply it to what they know, aka their peer group.  Therefore the classroom must define teacher-student respect and student-student respect in slightly different terms. 

What might more appropriately describe the student to teacher respect as 'what this adult has to say might be worth listening to.'  Whereas the teacher to student respect might be 'these kids are not factory products; their thoughts are worth your time.'  Therefore the keyword to the student-teacher relationship is LISTEN.  A respectful classroom is one where the students listen to the teacher and visa-versa.  If this fails to happen, the classroom devolves into chaos where the students are inattentive and the teacher continually frustrated.  So in order to establish respect in the classroom the teacher has to give the students a convincing reason to listen.  What that reason is ultimately depends upon the classroom environment (context).  In some situations it can be as simple as 'I have a loud, cheery, but authoritative voice.  Listen to me."  Others might be about to put the reason to their students directly.  Others might have to use more subliminal tricks to convince kids to listen.  The point is that there are many paths by which you can establish respect in the classroom, none of them necessarily better than others, and the method employed should ultimately be shaped by context.  Getting kids to listen in big schools will be different from small schools; impoverished schools will be different from rich ones.  As teachers we must understand this and remain flexible in our approaches to respect in the classroom.  As Barry Schwartz once said, "A wise person knows how to improvise."